My mum explained

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When I as in my early 20s I worked in a pub in London where I met a white Zimbabwean chap named Scotty, who was barely five foot tall and really enjoyable to be around. However, I learned that there was a lot more to Scotty than met the eye. A veteran of the Rhodesia Zimbabwe Civil War, he was in a commando unit that got up to some pretty heavy stuff, which I’d hear about from his mates or sometimes from the man himself when he’d had a few.

One story told how Scotty was lying low in the bush observing an enemy camp when an enemy soldier came out to take a piss in the shrubs near him. Fearing he’d be spotted Scotty got up and slashed the guy’s throat killing him instantly. It was hard to believe this jovial little guy who’d do anything for you had slain a man in the heat of the moment.

My mum reminds me of Scotty. She is diminutive, kind and selfless and for the most part lives a peaceful and loving existence. Just don’t piss in front of her!

Camilla Lucy Bonnici (nee Abela) has commando skills that would be in the SAS Handbook if it had a section on suburban family warfare. Her ninja-like speed and deadly skill with kitchen utensils meant you’d often be nursing a bruised arse before you even knew what hit you.

I have been on the receiving end of such attacks, but I’ve also had the sheer pleasure of being witness to my siblings copping the full force of her Maltese fury.

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